BEHIND THE 2 LIVE CREW BUST: WHAT JERKS JACK OFF?

By: John Woods


What picture does your mind conjure up when you hear Coral Gables, Florida? Perhaps a scene of white beaches with palm trees gently swaying in the breeze. A beautiful image it is. When we hear the name of this "burg", we see an entirely different picture. We see a small house that also serves as an office where 39 year old attorney JACK THOMPSON, surrounded by his computer, phone and fax, plots and schemes his next moves in a demented obsession he is playing out.

Jack's house is full of BATMAN memorabilia. Jack wears a BATMAN wrist watch and a huge poster of his hero covers his fridge. In fact, Jack is so obsessed with the "CAPED CRUSADER's" character that he has taken on his identity. Another obsession of this "born-again" overdone fruitcake, is that he alone is going to save the world (or at least the state of Florida) from all that he decides is evil. And for now, Jack has decreed that we must be saved from Luther Campbell and 2 Live Crew.

Our self described "dull person" claims his only motivation in this ordeal stems from his Christian beliefs and his concerns for women and children. Being so obsessed, Jack has even tried to meet with Campbell "to discuss the musician's salvation." Even though fellow attorneys have questioned his mental stability, Jack contends that God "chose him to be the savior of widows and orphans." R.O.C. believes that Jack has other motives behind his attacks against Rap musicians. We believe he is an outright racist! Why has he only made a fuss about a black group? There are a number of white groups and individuals doing material equal to 2 Live Crew. Jack claims he listened to a number of albums and "found only one is obscene." Does Jack intend to stop with just getting 2 Live Crew's material banned? Hell no! On CBS's 48 HOURS he showed his true motive when he stated, "I want to see Luther Campbell do hard time in a Florida prison."

Second to Luther Campbell on Jack's hit list is Dade County Prosecuting Attorney Janet Reno. In 1988 Jack tried to get Reno to prosecute Miami DJ Neil Rogers for saying something on the air he didn't like. Reno would not, so Jack began harassing Rogers. Rogers got a Temporary Restraining Order issued against Jack, and Jack is forbidden to even mention the DJ's name. Pissed off at Reno, Jack ran against her in the elections. At a public debate, this demented mind presented Reno with a form demanding she fill it out. It read: "I, Janet Reno, am a 1) Homosexual; 2) Bisexual; 3) Heterosexual." Reno was expected to check an appropriate answer. The form went on to say, "If you don't respond by such a date, then you will be deemed to have checked one of the first two boxes." We wonder if "dull-boy" Jack would fill out a questionnaire of this type? It might give us some additional insight into his hang ups. After all, here we have a man who "gets off" enumerating how many times a Rap group says "FUCK!"

During this election campaign against Reno, Jack made his first contact with Luther Campbell from 2 Live Crew. Campbell wrote & donated a song for use by Reno in her campaign. At the polls Reno beat the hell out of 'our boy Jack,' and thus, is the real motivation behind Jack's persecution of 2 Live Crew. It has nothing to do with a lot of "holy-roller rubbish" about widows and orphans. What it is, has to do with a personal vendetta Jack is on, along with his blatant racism against blacks, PURE AND SIMPLE...WORD UP!

Being the BATMAN fanatic that he is, we are sure Jack will understand our using a line from the famous movie in reference to his home, Coral Gables. "THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!"

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